You know that thing when you’re scrolling through Twitter and come across an Onion headline and briefly think that it’s real? The opposite situation has been happening to me a lot lately — I’ve encountered a headline so bizarre that I assume it’s fake and I’m shocked by its actual reality. This scenario is far more disconcerting. For some reason, every one of these headlines has been music-related.
Here is a list of some of these headlines, all worrisome jumbles of words and proper nouns that have shaken me to my core.
We live in a simulation, and daily I yearn to be yeeted directly out of it into the loving embrace of Jesus.